Hudson Wilder Barnes
Born Wednesday, 2/23/2011 at 3:58pm
6 pounds 9 ounces, 20.5 inches long
Where to begin? I sit here trying to reflect on your birth story, as you snooze on my lap post-boobie time, I can’t help but think back to my pregnancy. It was a truly amazing and wonderful experience. Even the minor complaints like peeing 2500 times a day, not being able to sleep on either hip for more than 20 minutes at a time, outgrowing everything I own…none of that dampers the memories of growing you inside of me. The bigger problems like high blood pressure and bed rest, those don’t even dent the experience of feeling you move and kick and live inside of me, of seeing your dad’s reaction as he felt and saw you wiggle.
I feel truly blessed that I was able to grow you for 40 weeks and 3 days. For a while, we thought you would come early, or I would be induced. But with the blood pressure under control, you waited until you were ready. For that, I am very thankful.
So let’s get to the good stuff, shall we?!
40 weeks and 2 days
Tuesday night, 2/22, your dad and I went for a walk, just us, no dogs. It was a seriously beautiful night. As we walked through the neighborhood we were talking about your arrival. We knew it would be soon, we just didn’t know when. Our next midwife appt wasn’t until Thursday so we knew if you didn’t start to come before that, we would have a better idea of when that day. I had been having the feeling that you would come on a Wednesday for a few weeks so I thought it might be the next day. We started talking about our ideal labor and delivery, really my ideal since I would be doing to hard work. I said that I wanted my water to break to signify the start, I wanted labor and delivery to last less than 12 hours, and I wanted to deliver you naturally! Little did I know what was on the horizon or I would have thrown in a pain free, push for 10 minutes, and tear free delivery request while I was at it.
4:45am 2/23/11
I woke up feeling a little pop! I knew what it was instantly…my water had broken…hooray. I jumped up and ran to the bathroom so as to not soak the bed Success!! I made it, no major leaks on the bed or the bedroom floor! I checked the fluid and good news, it was clear…so far so good.
Sitting on the toilet I said, “Gary, my water just broke”. Him, in his sleepy stupor, said, “What?!” So I said it again and again he said, “What?!” See, the last few weeks I had been waking up early in a sweat or with Braxton Hicks contractions and getting into the shower or going to the bathroom. For those few weeks, he would wake up out of a sound sleep and say, “is it time?” So by this point, he had finally learned to sleep through my waking. When I repeated myself, “my water broke” he jumped up…it was on! We calmly went down the list of things we were going to do:
Gary- walk dogs, do dishes, take out trash, quick pick up of the house, shower and get dressed!
Kim- shower and lay back down to try to get some sleep.
I definitely liked my list better.
So I lay back down and tried to sleep through the minor contractions I was having. Of course I couldn’t sleep…I was just too excited for you to be here, for my sweet boy to make his debut. So after about an hour, I got a sheet of paper, lay back down, and started to track my contractions. They were coming about every 5-6 minutes. So I called my mom as I promised her I would, we chatted for a bit, and then I went back to timing. Every 5 minutes. They were still very mild, much like the BH I had been having for several weeks.
At 8am I decided to call the midwives and let them know. I sort of thought that they would have me come to the office or tell me to stay home a while, but since my water had broken, then told me to go to the hospital. So off we went. But not before I took a picture wearing the same outfit I did for my first maternity picture. It definitely didn’t fit the same. Even now, I look at this picture and kind of miss my baby belly. It was so magical carrying you inside of me…seriously, a magical miracle!
16 weeks
40 weeks and 3 days
So we loaded up our bags into the car, put down a water proof liner in the passenger seat (that’s me, your pragmatic mom), and we were off!
We got to the hospital at 8:20 and walked in to the check in area. I was already pre-registered, so it was a quick process and then up to triage. At triage the nurse checked me and I was 90% effaced and 2 cm dilated. The contractions were about 3-4 minutes apart at this point and took a little more concentration to breathe through.
The midwife called the triage nurse and said I could either stay or go home to labor. She thought it would be a while before I would be approaching the 10cm mark. Since I was already feeling the contractions and they were 3 minutes apart, your dad and I decided to stay. We just weren’t sure how fast I would progress and didn’t want to have to deal with coming back.
9:30am
We got to our hospital room…Room 316.
I changed into my laboring outfit, or one of the few I would go through! The contractions were manageable at this point. Painful and uncomfortable? YES, but still doable. I tried lots of laboring positions, bouncing on the ball, and the tub. I had such intense back labor that nothing helped expect leaning forward, rocking my hips side to side and moaning. Moaning sounds I’ve never heard myself make and couldn’t really replicate if I tried. I really hoped the tub would work. While it did feel nice to be in the warm water, I just couldn’t get into that happy leaning forward position that worked for me.
At one point, the nurse needed to monitor me just to make sure all was well. So I hopped (ha, like there was any hopping going on), into the bed to be hooked up for a quick monitoring session. This part sucked. Being flat on my back with the contractions was yucky. During this time, Diane, the midwife on call came to check on me. She was a nice familiar face to see and seemed to think things would take some time since I was chatting and laboring fairly easily. She went to check on another patient but said she would be back.
After about 10-15 minutes, I called the nurse and asked how much longer I needed to be in bed. She said she would come right in an unhook me. Praise little baby Jesus for that. After I was out of the bed, it was back to laboring. For about two hours it was me leaning forward, swaying and moaning. I would sort of signal your dad when a contraction was about to hit and he would jump up to be by my side or rub my back (which was oh so nice).
11:30/Noon-ish (I sort of lost track of time at this point)
Also note, no pictures from this part of the game...too much to do for pictures!
So after about two hours of laboring, things started to feel much stronger. I stood at the window in the labor room looking out at the city (really, I was looking at a palm tree and the mall off to the east) when a whopper of a contraction hit. I uncontrollably pushed and let out some crazy wild woman yell that had your dad bouncing up it total fear, shock, and awe. I started to bleed a little bit so we called the nurse in to check me. Meanwhile, your dad was freaking out a little bit, not crazy “I’m going to pass out” kind of freaking, just a “oh my God this is going to happen” freaking. The nurse came in and checked me…7cm!! Whoo hoo! This was that pivotal moment...could I do this? Was I strong enough? H E Double Hockey Sticks Yes! I knew if I had made it this far I could go the next 3cm (plus pushing) to see your sweet face. So the nurse called the midwife (who was checking on another patient and who thought I would be in labor much, much longer). So Diane came back in astounded that I had progressed so quickly.
Apparently, you were ready to start your travels!
So the laboring continued with me trying more positions like squatting and kneeling and others I can’t even remember. But leaning forward and swaying was the only thing that worked. At this point, Diane and Carrie (the nurse) stayed in the room and helped me with massage and bringing me water. I think this really helped your dad feel better! At one point, I remember squatting at the base of the bed and just being so tired that I had to sit down. So I sat. Bare bottomed on the floor. I think at this point, my body was definitely going through something new, I was entering a tired phase, like it was gearing up for the real work. So a few contractions later, when I was standing on the side of the bed, and I let out another one of those guttural yells, Diane figured it was time to check me. Low and behold…I was 10cm dilated and fully effaced! What does that mean?? Showtime baby. The real deal, not just the previews. It. Was. Time. To. Push. Oh boy!
12:30 or so (again, lack of time awareness but according to picture times, this was about right)
I start pushing with contractions. To any future mom out there, when they say to push like you’re pooping, they mean it! So that’s what I did, in a variety of positions…I pushed like I was pooping, for a LONG time. I was so tired, that I couldn’t maintain the squat position I thought was best. So I hopped (again, hahaha), into the bed, and used the squat bar to do a modified laying/squatting kind of thing. And. I. Pushed. So it continued, Carrie giving me sips of water, Diane encouraging me and telling me what was working and what wasn’t, and your dad cheering you on. Yes, I said “You”. He kept saying, “come on baby boy” “come on baby boy” over and over. He was so stinking excited to meet you. At one point I said, “aren’t you supposed to be cheering me on?!” The sarcasm never ended. Diane and Carrie were so wonderful the whole time. I never felt stressed or rushed or wrong! I felt like they were the teachers just there to guide me and help my body do what it was grown to do. What was crazy about the whole thing was that the contractions mellowed during this time. They were less painful and the urge to push only came every few contractions. So I went with it, pushing when I felt I had the energy and when my body demanded I do it. Every so often a crazy one would hit me and I would push and yell like the savage beast woman I am. I was getting so close. They could see your head start to come down with each push, but you would sneak back up after I pushed. So the progress was so slow. Your dad kept cheering you/us on. I felt so supported. It was fantastic. So it continued.
I had been pushing for over 2 hours [closer to 3] and finally, I had reached my point. That point where utter exhaustion has set in and I just didn’t know how I could finish this. Then I remembered, there was a baby at the end of this journey. Sometime near this point in the story Diane had me reach down and feel your head…you were right there. You, my little boy! So I said (out loud), “okay you stubborn little sh*t, it’s time to come out” and I PUSHED. I mean, like crazy. Diane’s face lit up and she said, “a few more of those and he will be”. So I did it. Every single contraction. Urge to push or not. I pushed. HARD. Within 9 pushes or so, the excitement level in the room skyrocketed. Diane, Carrie, and your dad were all cheering for us. “He’s right there” “You can do it” “Just keep going”. That final push and you would be mine. So I pushed. Through the contraction and past it. And you know what? We did it. And there you were. 3:58pm marked the first minute of your life, the first minute of the rest of our life together. My sweet baby boy!
Diane laid you on my chest. You were the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. Of course you were covered in goop, but I didn’t care. And you had the biggest cone head, it went on for days. I guess that’s what we get for taking almost 3 hours to push you out. Your dad likes to say that while I was pushing he was worried that you just had a giant head, since he felt like it took forever to see your ears. He even joked that we would have to rename you after the lead character, Beldar, in the movie Conehead. So funny, that guy. You had a covering of dark hair (like mom) and a butt chin. The cutest little butt chin. As your cord finished pulsing all that good blood into your tiny body, I rubbed your back and talked to you, and helped you get that goop out of your lungs. The nurse did your Apgar test (you scored a 9- good job big guy) while you laid on my chest and took the first breaths of your life outside of me. After a few minutes your dad cut the cord and they took you to the other side of the room to do your measurements. The results: 6 pounds 9 ounces and 20.5 inches long. You were a long, skinny baby. My long, skinny baby.
I had so much adrenaline/endorphins running through my body, I was absolutely high. Here’s where things are blurry. I know I delivered the placenta (can you say best feeling ever?!) and got stitches for the 2nd degree tear. Somehow, the needle for the numbing still hurt. After delivering a baby, a needle still pinches. Who knew?! Thankfully that was done pretty quickly thanks to Diane’s skillful hands. I know you were given a vitamin K shot and brought back to me. I was able to nurse you then...you were only 20 minutes old and eating like a champ! After about 40 minutes, the nurse came back in and bathed and re-wrapped you and brought you right back to me.
Once all the necessities were taken care of, your dad and I were left alone with you. And we just sat in awe. Staring and taking in the reality of you. You were here. Real life (outside the womb) baby!
We just marveled at your existence. And we couldn’t have been happier. We could not be happier.
That’s your beginning Hudson Wilder Barnes.
And here you are now:
Hudson thanks you for reading his story! (His mommy does too!)
XOXO
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